LIVESTRONG DAY...

I got an email from Livestrong today regarding their "Livestrong Day"...

Here is the link....

LIVESTRONG DAY... Livestrong Foundation

All is Put To Right....

So, the Polk County Transit was highly dismayed to hear about how I was treated during what I now call "The Phone Call". They sent a representative over to the house to interview Raymond and he is now approved for his transportation. I'm glad they did the right thing.

Therefore, his second round of treatment started today.  Again, he is wiped out from it and his head hurts.  Luckily, he still has some of the pain pills left that my sisters bought for him. Four more days of the chemo and another week of the migraines and he'll have another two weeks of peace.

I asked the doctor today when we can officially call him "cancer-free" and she said, "After the chemo treatments are over, we'll do more scans and bloodwork to make sure it's all gone."  She sounded really optimistic when she said it.  Personally, I think it's "gone" now, but they are just making sure. The only thing that worries me is the fact that it's a "very aggressive" cancer and that sentence she said about it showing signs that it had "infiltrated the blood vessels" around where they had removed the mass.  I'm still unclear as to if she meant that it actually DID infiltrate or that it COULD HAVE infiltrated.  Either way, the chemo is going as planned and the lung/stomach scans were clear, with the exception of an enlarged lymph node... no, a "larger than normal" lymph node (meaning she wasn't overly concerned, but wasn't willing to take a chance with it, either).

So, it's off to bed for me.  Have to rest up to make phone calls tomorrow on Raymond's behalf plus another round of sitting in the hospital for the day.

Oh, yeah... received information from Patient Advocate Center.  Great resource for cancer patients (see address and phone # on HELPFUL WEBSITES page)

It's Official....

Well, it's official. Raymond's chemotherapy starts on Monday @8:30am.

His pulmonary function test indicated that his lungs are not strong enough for one of the chemo drugs, so he has to do the other 2 chemo drugs 5 times/week for one week out of each month for 4 months. He has to do 4 cycles of the chemo.  

He was all irritated the other day, so I didn't bring it up to the doctor, but when I can get her by herself away from him, I'm going to ask her what the CAT scan of his lungs showed.  She seemed concerned. And she wanted to do CAT scan of his abdomen, but by this time, he was tired, irritated, and just wanted to go home. He promised me that he would let her do the abdomen CAT on Monday. She said she needs to get a "baseline" before the chemo starts.

So, keep him in your prayers especially this week. Pray that God give him the strength he needs to endure the coming week.

Already, I have to call Polk County Healthcare because they're not covering 2 of the 3 prescriptions that the doc wrote for him.  

I Reached Out...

Well, I sent a link to this blog to all of Raymond's family members in Pennsylvania. To the ones that I could find on Facebook, that is. His brother has hidden himself well. He has a facebook account, but is not even visible as a friend on his grandmother, wife, step-mom, aunts, uncles, or their friends lists. His name is Clayton John Young, he is a U.S. Marine-stationed in North Carolina to my knowledge, his wife's name is Sasha Young, and he is from New Castle Pennsylvania.  If anyone knows how to reach him, please send him a link to this blog. 

My nephew, Jordan, has moved in with us. It'll be a big help once Raymond starts his chemotherapy. Raymond enjoys his company, plus it gives him someone to hang out with that is his own age. I think it's important for his spirits to stay upbeat.

Having a hard time tonight...

Listening to some music tonight, thinking back over the 24 years that my life has been blessed with my son. I'm having a hard time because I hate the prospect of outliving him. Parents aren't supposed to outlive their children. It's not the balance of things. If anyone was gonna get cancer in this family, it should be me not him. 

Times like this is when I find myself questioning the fairness of life in general and, I must admit, my faith in God. I know He gives us tests our whole life to make us stronger and to remind us that He is almighty. But, damn it, if I fail this test, it's Raymond that loses the most! Is it really fair to him for God to be giving me this test? No, it isn't! If God wanted to test my faith by using cancer, then I should have been the one to get it, not Raymond, and I'm damn angry about it!! 

We see the urologist tomorrow. Not sure what wonderful, f-ing news we'll get from him. I know it won't be good news, if I keep questioning my faith like this so I better get off of here and go bend the good Lord's ear for awhile and make amends for my doubt before He takes it out on m son.