I Reached Out...

Well, I sent a link to this blog to all of Raymond's family members in Pennsylvania. To the ones that I could find on Facebook, that is. His brother has hidden himself well. He has a facebook account, but is not even visible as a friend on his grandmother, wife, step-mom, aunts, uncles, or their friends lists. His name is Clayton John Young, he is a U.S. Marine-stationed in North Carolina to my knowledge, his wife's name is Sasha Young, and he is from New Castle Pennsylvania.  If anyone knows how to reach him, please send him a link to this blog. 

My nephew, Jordan, has moved in with us. It'll be a big help once Raymond starts his chemotherapy. Raymond enjoys his company, plus it gives him someone to hang out with that is his own age. I think it's important for his spirits to stay upbeat.

Having a hard time tonight...

Listening to some music tonight, thinking back over the 24 years that my life has been blessed with my son. I'm having a hard time because I hate the prospect of outliving him. Parents aren't supposed to outlive their children. It's not the balance of things. If anyone was gonna get cancer in this family, it should be me not him. 

Times like this is when I find myself questioning the fairness of life in general and, I must admit, my faith in God. I know He gives us tests our whole life to make us stronger and to remind us that He is almighty. But, damn it, if I fail this test, it's Raymond that loses the most! Is it really fair to him for God to be giving me this test? No, it isn't! If God wanted to test my faith by using cancer, then I should have been the one to get it, not Raymond, and I'm damn angry about it!! 

We see the urologist tomorrow. Not sure what wonderful, f-ing news we'll get from him. I know it won't be good news, if I keep questioning my faith like this so I better get off of here and go bend the good Lord's ear for awhile and make amends for my doubt before He takes it out on m son.

Well, good news and bad news...

Might as well give bad news first:

We went to the oncologist yesterday.  Raymond's cancer is a very aggressive type of cancer. He will have to undergo chemotherapy for 4 months @ 1 treatment per week. Regrettably, he will be very sick and tired for the next 4 months. We would love to read as many blog post comments as you care to post. Words of encouragement are always welcome. Prayers are even more welcome and are essential to get him through this.

Now for the good news:

His cancer, although aggressive, is completely curable. Thank you, Jesus!! It may even be that there isn't any cancer left in him, as the surgeon does believe that they got it all.  But, to be absolutely 100% positive that it's all gone, they're going ahead with the chemo. I'm choosing to believe that God has a plan for him and that Raymond is going through this to make him a stronger person in preparation for that. God knows each of our strengths and weaknesses, just like any father knows his children, and He never gives us more than we can handle. This is going to make Raymond stronger as a person, myself stronger as a mother, and the both of us will be better off for it. We just need moral support and prayers for all of you willing to give it.

Nothing New Today @ The Docs:

So, I thought today we would find something out about Raymond's cancer, but it was just an initial consultation with an internist. She is an internist but also a primary care physician. He goes back there in April, but Friday (this Friday) is his appointment for the biopsy results. So there will be a couple more sleepless nights.  

I'll keep you posted, of course...

I LOVE YOU, SONSHINE!!

+Raymond Young look at this...

+Raymond Young you need to start reading this blog. It is for you after all, you know!  Short post today, I have seminar in 10 minutes....

Son, you are someone special...
BELIEVE THAT! ♥

TODAY'S POST IS JUST FOR YOU. MINT!

Never, in a million years, would you guess what I found today!  Go ahead, I'll wait....

"Whistling while I wait"

"Did you guess, yet... no?"

STOP!!!!!

TIME'S UP! 

"Well, I DID say you'd never guess it...

SO 

(▼actually, click down here▼)

 GO AHEAD, PUSH THE BUTTON!"

Please Let The Prayer Chain Begin...

Raymond's next appointment is March 12th.  That is when we will find out exactly what is going on.  The biopsy results are in.  

I'm nervous and scared, but I can't show it.  Raymond has mentioned the appointment a few times, but then he quickly changes the subject.  That's how I know he is scared too.

I'm not sleeping very well.  Raymond is, though, and that's what is important.  He has been sleeping very peacefully since that Becca left.  She was too much to deal with at this stage in his life! Raymond is supposed to be dealing with his health and was arguing with her or trying to appease her every day instead.  Talk about pressure and bad vibes! I've been told that cancer patients should be in relatively peaceful atmospheres.   

Well anyways, she's not the subject of this post. Please send up those prayers!  We're gonna need them!

I'm going to try to sleep now.